Thursday, May 29, 2008

We're winning!

I say "We" like I have anything to do with it. I don't have anything to do with it, nor am I gay, but I have gay friends and I think people should be treated like people. That's where "We" comes in.

Gay rights advocates score wins in NY, Calif.

Denying any group of people anything based on their sex, race, religion or sexual preferences is just plain wrong. Yet some people seem to think it's their inalienable right to do just that. Yeah, I don't get it either.

Today it is gay marriage, what will it be tomorrow? Free speech? People are quick to ban and forbid anything opposite their viewpoints, without realizing that they open the door for someone to swoop in and do the same to them. I wish everyone would watch movies like V for Vendetta and Equilibrium, to name a few, to see just where we will end up someday if we don't start saying No.

I know, off the soap box.



I had planned on writing about why I blog today but I have limited time so I'm not going to. Instead, I'm going to post a few pics. I realized today I haven't posted a picture of the tattoo in a while. I've only had one session of color - I have to get with Ken for more but time has been limited.


I had to put this up here because it's hilarious - Freddie and I in the lanes at the Buffalo Wings flyball tournament in Batavia, NY this past April. I was saying "Ready, Set, Go!" and had just released him to run down the lane. Too funny.


And finally, a wonderful shot of my posterior from Camp Barking Hills this year. In my tricks class, I did demos for the disc tricks the campers could choose from. This was one of them.



So really today has turned into let's-make-fun-of-Dawn-day! Clearly, I started it so feel free to jump in!

D

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Better today...

And I knew I would be, it just takes a little time. I'm sure I'll have other bad days about it but right now I'm ok.

LKH came out with not one but TWO new books today. I'm heading to the book store right after this post. I'm in the middle of JR Wards books but I'll wait to read the rest of them until after I read the latest in the Anita Blake series.

I *really* have to unload my car today. No more fooling around on that one with the price of gas! Plus I need to get back to training Tweak for flyball in the yard.

But first I have to find the yard. I went away for 5 short days and when I got back my house was surrounded by this really tall field of green. I have to try and cut it today or tomorrow after work. I'm seriously in awe of how quickly grass grows.... I wish my hair grew that quickly.

Speaking of which, I made an appointment to get it colored and cut next week. The day before heading off to Caledonia so I'll be nice and fluorescent. I'm trying to decide what funky thing to do to it next and I'm coming up blank. I haven't done the thick stripes in a while, maybe I'll do that.

Any suggestions?

D

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

I am strong...

...but there are certainly times when it is near impossible for me to continue being strong.

There are times when I just want to throw in the towel. When I want to stay in bed watching every sad movie I own, crying the day away.

It is absolutely amazing to me that my feelings can change so drastically in such a short period of time. From the happiness and huge sense of fulfillment from being at camp all weekend to utter despair because of a family thing.

I'm always the strong one - always have been and always will be. In times of crisis I can shoulder my load and then some. Maybe that's why Jo has a hard time reading me - something to ponder another day.

There are times though when I don't want to be strong. When I don't want to take on the world and prove everybody wrong. There are times when I need to cry myself to sleep just like everybody else at some point in their life.

This is one of those times.

I can't go into details yet, but I will soon enough. Suffice it to say I am absolutely miserable and tonight I will cry myself to sleep without watching a sad movie.

I don't want to be strong right now. I just want to cry. I want to be held and comforted. I want to hide. I am strong, but I don't want to be right now. I'm throwing in the towel, hoisting the white flag, surrendering to my feelings.

Tomorrow, I will be strong. Tonight, I will cry.

D

Recovering

What a fan-freakin'-tabulous weekend! I *love* camp! Everyone I know should go to camp just because there is so much to do, the people rock, and it's all about dogs - having fun with them, learning about them, learning the how's and why's re: their behavior, having more fun with them, playing games with them, and learning how to take care of them. Camp Barking Hills rocks!

There was a couple from MA and a couple from VT there this year, which was great! It's good to have familiar accents mingled in with the NJ/NY accents.

I thought all of my classes went really, really well. Everyone seemed to enjoy what we did and learned a bunch. The absolute best kicker was hearing how one of the campers used techniques learned in my Building Drive class in one of Susan's classes. It's awesome that the camper proved the information was valuable, it was incredible that she was able to apply it during the weekend, but it was especially cool that it happened in front of the owner of the camp. If there was any doubt on the value of dog camp, that pretty much pulverized it right there.

The kids did really well too. Freddie was able to come out for flyball stuff. Tweak for drive and disc stuff, Millie for grooming and general hanging around and Pacie for pictures with Freddie. Jeannie from Close Encounters of the Furry Kind was there this year and we did some action shots of Tweak with the disc and some "pretty" pictures of the boys on a bench and in front of a bush. Pacie took off during one shoot and headed up to the patio area at full throttle. You'd think I starve the dog with how food motivated he is... he just doesn't like to earn it. :p

I wanted to get Tweak on the Lure course but alas my schedule never allowed me the time. I guess it's not such a bad thing since it's not like she needs an increase in drive in chasing anything but me. :p

I traded Wendi the chef my Dunkin Donuts koozy for the rest of the pork roll. You can't get it up here and I like it. :)

I still have to unpack the car, which might take several days as I have no motivation to do it today either. :p

The tugs and discs were a pretty good hit at camp! I was very pleasantly surprised with how many were sold.

I heard back from the insurance company. It looks like it is affordable and we can go ahead with starting the business the way I'd like to. I'll call the lawyer tomorrow and see what I need to do to get that ball rolling.

I have a ton of homework to do and I really need to do nothing else this week but catch up on it. Traveling while in school is just ridiculous. And I still have another trip planned...sigh.

I was supposed to make plans with Ken today to get more work done on the tattoo but it's not going to happen. I have to take my aunt somewhere today, bathe the dogs because they rolled in something wicked dead and stinky, shower myself, try to clean off the kitchen table enough so I can actually tell it's a table, then meet George for dinner later.

I'm not sure where my head is with the George thing. Frankly I'm so confused and unhappy about it all that I really just want to step away and call it a day. I've had a break from him while he was on travel and I was at camp and it's helped put things into perspective. Now I just need to get rid of my feelings, which is always the hardest thing to do. I wish there was a bridge between what I know will eventually happen and what's happening now. That would help the internal "Shazam! You're stupid!" comments from appearing whenever I think about it.

As great as camp was, Susan, Donna & I still feel like we got gypped. We never really got a chance to sit down and hang out at all. I just spent the last 5 days with them and I think I blogged more than I spoke to them. Clearly that's saying something! I'll just have to plan a long weekend down there after the insane summer is over.

I have to wash the pups now. I swear I would stay drier if I just got in the tub with them.

D

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Day one

Last night was class sign up which went well.

Today is the first day of classes. Millie decided she didnt feel like playing so our clicker demo tanked. Dogs have such a way of humbling us humans.

Or maybe itls just my dogs...

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