yeah, didn't happen..

No shocker here, but I didn't finish the closet. I really have no excuse why to tell you the truth. I did do the kitty litter box, laundry, and I took a bath. But then I got sucked into the new Terry Goodkind book and that was the end of me. Although, I did play with the dogs outside when it stopped raining.

I Tivo'ed a Discovery special last night - Inside the Twin Towers. It was an interesting show, one that I'll watch again. In one week's time it will be 5 years since the attacks. Remembering that day, it still seems so surreal.

Do you remember where you were, what you were doing that morning?

Of course you do. Everyone does. How can you not.

I was at work. One of the computer guys was there working on my officemate's computer and he said a plane had just hit a building in New York. I went to Boston.com and saw a picture of the tower with a massive amount of black smoke coming from it. I then went to CNN.com and watched the live feed. I remember my boss coming in and telling us that we could leave and work from home if we wanted after the 2nd plane hit. I think it was known by then that it was caused by terrorists. The threat level was at FPCON Charlie when I left. I remember talking to my Dad the whole way home on my cellphone. I don't remember what we said though. I learned afterwards that they had a mandatory evacuation shortly after I left and later went to FPCON Delta and lockdown. The people that were still inside were not allowed to leave. Work was closed for 2 days.

I guess I should explain that I work for a government contractor and we follow what Hanscom Air Force base has for levels. We don't have a choice - I guess it's part of managing FFRDC's.

Once I got home, I had CNN on and tried to do some work. I wasn't very successful. The more I heard and saw, the less I wanted to hear and see. I couldn't figure out how anyone could hate people that much. I really couldn't grasp what was happening. I remember crying. I remember feeling numb. I remember feeling overwhelmed for the people inside. I remember being devastated for the families that were watching the same thing, desperately trying to get in touch with their loved ones, not knowing whether or not they got out. I remember the emotional storm that hit me when the towers fell. I remember being horrified when the Pentagon was hit, praying that there wasn't another plane and it wasn't headed for our other location. Then there was another plane. And more people died. And I cried. (Melissa Ethridge wrote a great song about a passenger on that plane.)

Then the flags came out. Everywhere you turned there was an American Flag. I refused to buy into that. While I thought the sentiment was right, I couldn't ignore the fact that it was just for companies to make money. It was a fad. I didn't want my patriotism to be a fad. Have you seen as many flags since? Neither have I.

I don't have friends in New York, or that work in the Pentagon. I found out later that a guy I graduated from high school with was in the towers and perished. I wasn't particularly close with him, just enough to say hello and have idle conversations with. Nobody deserves to die that way.

I imagine that there will be a lot more in the media remembering 9/11 as the day gets closer. I wonder if we'll be complacent again. I don't think it's over.

D