Tuesday, October 23, 2007


Tweak got to see me in full wrath last night. I don't think she liked it all that much.

She's normally so good that I really haven't had a reason to get angry at her. I guess you could say she's been initiated.

I went to the bathroom, accompanied by the two Pins (I haven't been to the bathroom by myself in 10 years, sad but true.) How long does it take to go to the bathroom? Without getting into detail, unless you're showering a simple number 1 really takes less than a minute. I mean, there's not much going on and it doesn't take a long time. Right?

So, in under a minute, Tweak had my living room looking like a snowstorm had swept in and dumped about 5 inches of fluffy white stuff. Except, it wasn't snow. It was Millie's dog bed.

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It's one thing for them to rip apart stuffed animals. I'm ok with that and am used to sweeping up the guts of what used to be soft, fluffy toys. A dog bed, however, is a totally different story. Big dog beds are expensive. Little dog beds are $3 - $5. Big dog beds are NOT.

So when I realized what it was she had strewn all over the living room, I saw red. Man was I angry! I yelled at her to stop and put her in a down stay on the chair. I was swearing my head off when she decided she didn't want to lie down anymore.

Wrong answer.

I told her to lie down where she was and she blew me off. All I could see was her tail high and straight as she walked away from me. That's called the doggie finger, by the way.

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Unacceptable. I said her name, calmly, and she turned around. I told her, again, calmly, to come to me. She laughed. Ok, she didn't really laugh per se, but her facial expression and her total joy at ignoring me to get a toy was very much like laughter.

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You little fucker. Oh no you don't! I went to grab her and I think that's when she realized Mom had turned into this thing she didn't know how to respond to. She tried to book it into the other room but I got a hold of her and very firmly picked her up, went into the bedroom, and tossed her in her crate. (Don't think toss like threw, think like put.)

I let the other dogs outside because they've seen the wrath of Mom when something goes horribly wrong and were all huddled by the back door. Not wanting to take it out on them, I let them outside so I could clean up.

15 minutes later the living room was dog-bed-stuffing free, I had a little more control of my temper (slamming doors kinda helps, oh, and swearing a lot), and I was slowly getting back to normal.

Damn it. I liked that dog bed, a lot. More importantly, Millie liked that dog bed, a lot.

I went into the bedroom after 1/2 hour to do a little training with Tweak. She really wasn't sure what was going on so she stayed in her crate until she could tell which version of Mom had arrived. Once she figured out I wasn't going to skin her alive, she body slammed me, washed my whole face and snuggled for quite a bit.

Fun stuff.


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