Oh yeah...

*Now* it's catching up to me. It's 7:10 and I am soooo ready for bed. I'm trying to read my homework for this week but that just isn't working out so well.

I also have Air Border Collie landing in the living room with every toy toss. She always jumps, she just doesn't always do her freestyle flips in mid-air every time.

What time can I go to bed and not be up at 3am? Shit. I have to stay up for 2-3 more hours....? Sigh.

I left work early today for Pacie's vet appt., which went well. We got surprisingly good news too!! His BUN levels were high, but the lowest they've ever been. His CREA levels were on the high side of normal, but they were normal! That so rocks! The bad part is that we still don't know why he's lost 3.5 lbs. He was at 18.5, now he's at 15 - odd stuff. So, I just have to keep an eye on him and triple (not double like I've been doing) his food. He'll now get the same amount of food that my 70 lb. Millie gets.

I'm excited about my flyball weekend. I just love the sport and I can't wait to get in the lanes! Of course it'll be nice when I can get in the lanes with both my flyball dogs. I'm aiming for sometime this summer with Tweak. I don't care when, I just don't want to push her before she's ready. She can compete in frisbee until she's ready, then frisbee has to take a back seat.

Since I wrote the short story the other day, a couple of others have popped in my head. Maybe I'll have time this weekend to jot them down. One will be titled "Lost", not sure about the other.

I can't believe I have to stay away for another couple of hours. I'm never gonna make it!

Maybe I'll try to write some before heading to bed....

D

Fitting for the day...

I've probably blogged about this speech in the past as it's one of my most favorite speeches to watch. The longer version, available on YouTube, is even better. I think the entire world should watch it repeatedly to get a sense of what's important in life -- especially when life has you by the balls and is swinging you over its head by them.

It's 10 minutes long and, IMO, worth it.

http://video.stumbleupon.com/?s=ithct48cqw&i=ufcchmyxqsuj9vwsemax

To see how Randy is doing today, take a look at his site.

I tossed and turned again last night, but for a good reason this time. One that I would gladly do again. :) Get your mind out of the gutter, it's nothing like that.

I have an appt. with Pacie to the vet today. I'll probably just have a panel done so we can see where his levels are. Hopefully that'll tell us why he's having a hard time gaining weight.

And tomorrow is FLYBALL!!!!! Woohoo! I can't wait!

I love flyball.

D

I'm ready...

For Spring. Tomorrow, please. Could you arrange that for me? I'd realllly appreciate it!

I'm ready for rain instead of snow. I'm ready for warmer weather instead of 18 degrees. I'm ready for tulips and violets and other green things. I'm ready to clean off the deck and get it ready for summer. I'm ready for birds chirping, grass growing, dogs lying in the sun, food grilling, and any other sound, taste or smell that brings spring time memories.

I'd also like to be rid of this damn cold or whatever it is that has me sniffling every other day, damn it.

I woke up this morning with a Border Collie on my head. Apparently she was done sleeping and thought it important that I know that. It's a good thing she only weighs 30-something pounds.

I found out yesterday that my "other" team is pulling out of this weekend's flyball tournament. I'm sure my team will love to have 100% of my attention but I can just imagine the types of jokes that will be going around because of it.

I'm not sure if I mentioned it before or not but Freddie has slipped from the #5 Min Pin to the #6 Min Pin in flyball. Normally I'm actually not all that competitive in flyball. I don't much care about getting first place as I do about Freddie running cleanly and getting points. This weekend?

It's on.

My boy better be on his game because I'm out for points. He *will* be #5 again, very soon. He's going to be playing in every tournament in the region and every tournament we're traveling to out of region this year. Oh yeah, he'll be #5 again. Soon.

I have to make an appt. for Pacie to head to the vet's asap. I've doubled up on his food amount but he's still practically skeletal. My dogs are on the leaner side anyway (except Millie - you get a pass when you're old), but he's far leaner than even I like. Since he's getting twice the amount of food, his body is in overdrive doing something. I'm afraid it's his kidneys/liver but a quick blood test will tell me for sure. Now I just have to figure out when I can take the time off and when I can get him in to see Lisa.

D

a short story...

Dust swirled in the shaft of light that broke through the corner of the window in an otherwise windowless room. A child sat with his legs crossed on a reed mat in the center, surrounded by nothing but stone walls and candles held in iron floor sconces. A light breeze danced along the wind chimes outside, creating a background song for the boy’s thoughts.

The boy was trying very hard to empty his mind and meditate as his master instructed him but he wasn’t successful. The boy had questions of life, of love, and of hate. The boy had been a student of the Shaolin Monks for 6 years now. His master was very thorough in his explanations so shouldn’t he understand these concepts enough to know them by now?

The boy hadn’t finished the thought before he heard the whisper of his master’s robe behind him. He peeked through one squinted eye and saw his master walk around him, hands tucked into the sleeves of his robe. He closed his eye quickly and wondered why his master had come.

“Your mind is troubled, my son,” his master said as he sat down in front of him in the same pose as the boy. “Tell me what questions you have.”

The boy opened his eyes and looked up to see his master’s gentle, brown eyes filled with concern. He was embarrassed to answer his master’s question.

“I am confused, master” the boy said, bowing his head to hide his pink cheeks. “I think of the purpose of life and think of love. I think of the necessity of love and think of hate. I think of the evil of hate and think of death, which only makes me think of life again.”

His master smiled, as the boy looked up, easing the boy’s fears and making him eager to hear what his master’s thoughts.

“You broke fast in the courtyard outside this morning, did you not” his master asked.

“Yes, master, I did.”

“What did you see while in the courtyard?”

The boy answered, “I saw two puppies playing, master.”

His master bowed his head and smiled again. “What did you do when you saw the puppies playing” he asked.

“I smiled, master.”

“Why, my son?”

“Because they looked like they were having fun, master.”

“Did they have fun all of the time they played?”

“No, master, they did not. The bigger one hurt the little one and they stopped playing,” the boy answered.

“What did they do then,” his master asked.

“The little one made mean sounds to the bigger one and moved away from him. They didn’t play for a short time, but then played with each other again,” the boy answered.

“There is the answer to your question, my son.”

“How so, master? I do not understand,” the boy said.

His master smiled again. “They were learning a valuable lesson, my son.”

The boy looked at his master, confusion written on his face. “I do not understand, master. The puppies were playing, then stopped playing, then played again,” the boy said.

“Ah, but life is a lesson in and of itself, is it not, my son?”

“Forgive me, master. I still do not understand what lesson the puppies were learning by playing in the courtyard,” the boy said.

“It is the most simple of lessons, my son, and the hardest to master,” his master said.

He continued, “There are times when life is filled with play, which brings love and laughter.

There are other times when life is filled with hate, the absence of love and laughter.

When there is hate, there can not be love and laughter. When there is love and laughter, there is no reason to hate.

The little puppy could have chosen not to play with the bigger puppy again but he did not.

He instead chose to forgive and continue on with playing, bringing love and laughter to him and the one he once hated.

Love and laughter is what makes life worth living. Hate, while a part of life, is the absence of living.

Do you understand, my son?”

“I think so, master, but I’d rather just play with the puppies.”

“And that, my son, is life.”

DST

Daylight Saving Time. A controversial subject that everyone has an opinion about. Enacted to save energy and have more light during the evening hours, the original concept dates back to 1784 - an idea conceived by Benjamin Franklin.

I am split completely in the middle with DST. On one hand, I can't wait to get home while the sun is still out. On the other hand, the loss of that one hour of sleep *kills* me. You can pretty much mess with anything in my life and I'll handle it. But, mess with my job, my money, my dogs or my sleep and there will certainly be hell to pay. Think mother bear protecting her cubs kind of hell to pay.

So, while I'm looking forward to having that extra hour of light so I can bring Tweak down to the park and throw the frisbee, I'm really dreading the change in my sleep pattern - that doesn't recover nearly as well as I'd like it.

I know, wah, wah. Like I have a friggin' choice. :)

Totally different topic: I miss my coffee mug. My very special travel mug is no longer here but is desperately wanted (read needed for caffeine reasons.) If anyone knows when I might receive said travel mug, I would be eternally grateful if someone could clue me in. :)

Off to work, sans travel mug filled with deliciously hot, steaming coffee.

D

zumba

Terrie, my occasional gym partner, said to me "I want to try that Zumba class they have at the Fitness Center, come with me." It's described as a cardiovascular that incorporates footwork and moves from Latin and International dance.

Sure! Why not? Change is good! It looks like it could be fun!

Right.

Let me tell you what I learned while taking the Zumba class:

1 - My body does not move that way
2 - Nobody but the Zumba instructor's body moves that way
3 - It is a cardiovascular workout
4 - I was expecting a pole to drop out of the ceiling at one point in time
5 - Did I mention my body doesn't move that way
6 - If I can master even one of the Zumba moves, I'm going to rock in bed
7 - Nobody's body moves that way.

I can't count how many times I said "Are you freakin' kidding me?" during class. Seriously. Apparently I'll have to learn how to detach my hips so I can make my pelvis move the way hers did because that's really the only way my hips can accomplish those moves.

I did have fun. I will go again (thankfully it's only once a week - otherwise my hips would go on strike.) I did get a good workout. I enjoyed the instructor's energy and I'm stupidly jealous of the control she has over her body. Who knew they could move like that?! I'm pretty sure strippers aren't even aware that the female body can move like that.

Yikes. Yup, doing it again. I'm a sick, sick puppy.

And on that note, I'm heading to bed. I still feel somewhat crappy and think I could use the extra rest...after I read for a bit.

D

btw...

My hair looks fabulously quirky, which is exactly what I was going for. Good stuff. :)

And in the world of no-fucking-way! news, my brother got an apartment. I kid you not.

I'm sure there are pigs flying somewhere in the world. :p Congrats!

D

a break is needed...

I think I will take the summer off from school again. I need a break, desperately. I love learning, I love looking forward to my next class, but it just takes a *lot* of time that, quite honestly, I could use back right now.

I still have a cough and the sniffles from being sick weeks and weeks ago. My throat was sore last week which made me panic, thinking I was getting it again. I'd like to not be up doing homework until midnight because I left work later than normal and then had to train the puppy in flyball and frisbee, do some sort of cleaning (gods I miss Silvane), make dinner for me, get it set for the pups, make lunch for tomorrow, have some me time somewhere in there, and do laundry, etc., etc.

I guess what it comes down to is I need to decide what's more important right now... school or working with Tweak.

Her little brain is sucking up everything I can throw at her and I don't want to lose that momentum. At the same time, I'm already not getting my Bachelors until I'm 40 and I really don't want it to go much farther than that. Then again, I've got 3-4 years left of school so taking a few months off now won't really kill me.

Ok, I've talked myself into it. Dawn gets the summer off! Yay!

What tipped it off was all the traveling I already have planned for the summer months. There was no freakin' way I would be able to get everything in on time while away.

But then again... Damn it. I'm so indecisive sometimes.

D

It's Saturday!!

I haven't left the house since Thursday night. :)

I worked from home yesterday so I wouldn't have to deal with hours and hours in the car. Long rides are nothing for me, as proven by my 2 hour drives (each way) to Vermont on Sundays for round two of flyball practice, but 3 hour commutes to go less than 30 miles are soooo not my thing. So I got to stay inside and enjoy watching the snow fall without worrying about how long it would take me to get home. Snow is much, much prettier when you don't have to worry about it or if you get excited about it because you're going snowboarding or something.

I was sooooo tired last night I was actually in bed around 8:30pm doing Sudoku puzzles for an hour before passing out. The girls gave me what is becoming the customary racing stripe sized space in bed. I really need to get Millie's bed washed and back in the room so one of them will give me a break every now and then. Today's a good day to get the dog laundry done.

Earlier this week I got and email from an old, old friend that I haven't spoken to for many, many years. There is a ton to catch up on when you haven't spoken in 20 plus years. We went out to dinner and ended up closing TGIFridays. After lots of talking and laughing, he left around quarter to two. He can try and blame me for being tired and dragging ass the next day, but it ain't gonna work. After all, he *is* older and should know better....just sayin'.

Today is homework and cleaning day. I need to catch up on the stuff I didn't do Thursday night (notice how I'm not blaming anyone but myself?) and get going on all the stuff that's due this week. The most exciting part of today? I am getting my hair done. In my signature color. Today. Can you say giddy up? Since they've discontinued my hair color and I haven't figured out what's out there to replace it, this day should be a part of Dawn history.

I need a bit of a change. I need some fun back in my hair. I think I'll get ready for summer and toss some blonde back in it. It's getting kind of heavy too so I'll probably toss more layers in it while I'm there.

If you could only know how excited I am to get my hair done.

Damn what a girl-y thing to say. I'll wear my combat boots to negate the extra girl-yness.

But for now I have to go shovel myself out if I want to get there sometime today.

D

sometimes...

Sometimes I don't want to look the world in the face. Sometimes I wish my emotions weren't on my sleeve for the world to see. Sometimes I'd like to keep things private and just not let everyone know by my expression or my eyes how I'm feeling. Sometimes I wish I was good at hiding that kind of stuff. Not all the time, but sometimes.

Today is one of those days. I don't want to talk to anybody. I want to be left alone. Don't ask me what's going on when my eyes say I'm not having an ok kind of day. I'm open enough, if I wanted to tell the world, I would. I'm just not having an ok kind of day. And I'm allowed that every once in a while.

Sometimes I'd just like to cry in peace.

D

Sleeping privileges...

Tweak is a year old now - how time flies! She is so good and so willing to work that she's earning privileges in the house now. One of the her new found joys is being able to sleep in the bed at night. The boys are not allowed in the bed at night since I can't trust the little bastards as far as I can throw them (where did that saying come from?)

She likes being allowed to sleep in bed. I'll have to switch it up every once in a while though so she won't think she's automatically sleeping in the bed at hotels, camping, etc. Millie leaves me about a foot of the bed. Her recent favorite perch is where the pillows *should* be next to me. With Tweak added to the mix, I get about a racing stripe worth of space now. Last night I realized that I woke up every time I wanted to turn over since I was trapped by the sheets. I only woke up 3 times so I guess that means I don't toss and turn in my sleep.

I think I'll need to upgrade to a King if I'm in a relationship where I want that person to stay over. I'm so used to sleeping alone that anytime someone else is in the bed, I'm uncomfortable and can't sleep. Maybe that's TMI.

I'm getting my taxes done tonight - Yippee! We're all meeting at Dad's house around 7'ish. I'll probably bring Millie with me since she loves going to see Grandpa and she doesn't get out of the house as much as she used to.

Man! Some dog just farted and I swear the paint is peeling off the walls!

Isn't my life glamorous?

D

Roasts

While at the gym today, there was a commercial for Dean Martin Roasts on DVD. I remember Dean Martin and all of the guests that were on the Roast. I remember doing the Roasts when I was a kid. Watching the commercial got me to thinking:

People around my age are probably the last generation that would recognize Dean Martin, understand what the Rat pack was, and not be completely and absolutely offended by the lack of political correctness in one of their roasts.

Isn't that sad?

I might order the DVDs. I just hate being a part of that ship-you-one-per-month kind of deals.

D

$%*%$!!!!!!

If you can't tell, I'm pissed off. Actually, that's a gross understatement. I am so fucking pissed off I want to see people hurt. Like really, really hurt. Recoverable, but in serious pain.

Most people that know me fairly well know that I do not watch the morning or evening news, nor do I read the newspaper. Occasionally I visit the local paper's online site, but that's more to find out the weather or traffic. There's a reason why I don't watch the news. I either get depressed from how badly people suck or, like last night, I get so pissed off I'm close to tears.

I was doing homework in front of the TV last night. I wasn't really watching it, it was just on for background noise. Tivo changed the channel to record Medium. I kept plugging away on my homework, looking up maybe every 15 minutes or so. Next thing I know, the previews for the nightly news is on and I'm seeing red. No. I'm not seeing red, flames are shooting out of my eyes and I'm screaming every curse I've ever heard and a few I just created, at the TV.

I looked up at one point to see a fork lift -rather, the pointy steel rod parts of the fork lift - nudging a cow that was lying down. What? Is it dead and that's how they had to move it? No. I don't know why they were doing it other than to move the cow. The screen switches to another fork lift nudging yet another cow that was lying down. In this scene, the cow gets up and starts to move away but my eyes are *rivited* to the cow's hind legs - they're bent the wrong way. Looking at the cow from the side, the back legs make a backwards L.

Are you fucking kidding me?!?!?!?!

Who are these people? The preview talks about abuse to animals caught on tape. Ya think, Einstein?

There are very few people on this earth that I actually want to hurt. Really, you'd be surprised at who I've had compassion for. Not these fuckers. These people, I want bleeding. I want tortured. I want hurting. I'm so angry I'm almost speechless.

These people don't deserve to be within 100 miles of an animal. They should be forced to be vegans, they don't even deserve to eat what they were producing. I don't care if those cows were slated to be food. While alive, they deserve better. I am so outraged and I want blood.

I'm absolutely disgusted. In my worst nightmare I didn't think such a thing was possible. I just want to cry.

D

the girls....

Just because I can.



The boys, being the wimps they are, booked it into the house once they understood I wanted them to actually *sit* in the snow. It's not even like they have balls anymore either. Sheesh.

So the girls hung out in the snow so I could get a picture of them. They're so good. :)

Tweak was 10 months old here, Millie 10 years old. My sweet girls. :)

D

30 days today

Today marks 30 days I've been cigarette free...again. It's an accomplishment that I'm pretty happy with as I can do all these new things now, like breathe. Quite amazing really.

I was on the elliptical machine for 20 mins and I didn't run out of breath at all. I was breathing heavy, but that's supposed to happen when you're exercising - or so I'm told.

So, hooray for me. :)

---

While in Market Basket at the deli counter:

Me: Can I have 1 1/2 lbs of pre-sliced, white American cheese please. Oh, and I don't care which brand - whichever one you grab first.

Boy: What kind do you want?

Me: I don't care, whichever one you grab first.

Boy: Huh?

Me: I don't care.

The boy grabs the Market Basket white, American cheese blob and puts it on the machine.

Me: Is that the pre-sliced cheese?

Boy: No.

Me: Can I have 1 1/2 lbs of pre-sliced, white American cheese please?

Boy: Oh.

The boy goes out back, grabs a blob of pre-sliced white, American cheese and proceeds to pull off big chunks until he has a pound on the scale.

Boy: Anything else?

Me: Yes. Another 1/2 lb of that please.

Boy: Oh.

The boy grabs another hunk, weighs it, bags it, tags it and hands it over.

Boy: We can't fit more than a pound of cheese in a bag.

Me: Ok.

Was I like that when I was a kid? I was in a patient mood today so I took it all with a smile. Yeah, I don't know what was wrong with me either. ;)

---

I'm in Presentational Speaking right now. If memory serves me correctly, I think I'll get my A.A.S degree after this class. Won't that be nice. :) I'll be continuing on of course - I don't know near enough for my liking. Then again, I'm not sure I'll ever know near enough for my liking. I'd be a professional student if I could. Can you imagine learning everything you've ever had a question about? You'd never learn it all, but boy would it be fun trying! At least I think it would.

Off to do homework before hitting the hay.

D

Monster Jam

Today we're taking Zeke and Max to Monster Jam. I'm so excited!! We have Pit Passes, which will be new and thrilling to Zeke I'm sure. I'll bring my camera, of course.

Then it's home to do homework and play with the pups. Flyball practice in the AM on Sunday and Lily's adoption that afternoon. More homework, some food shopping and that's it for me. Pretty benign weekend.

D

It's good to be back...

Last night I moved all the posts from one server to another so there shouldn't be any missing content. I'm going to leave the other blog where it is for now but the app takes up a bunch of space so eventually I'll delete it.

Paula came over last night to pick up Harley, a 10 year old rescue I've had since October. Harley is going to live with Paula's father in South Carolina. They will be the perfect match!

I have one rescue left, Lily, who will be going to her new home on Sunday. The house will seem quiet with just 4 dogs and 2 cats.

I've been working with Tweak on flyball and frisbee. I've been throwing in some freestyle moves like her jumping on my back, jumping on my leg, flipping in the air for the frisbee, weaving through my legs, etc. She's quite the student!

The kids and I will be heading down to NJ/PA in a month for a 2 day disc competition. We're staying at Susan's and will commute back and forth on Sat & Sun. I can't freakin' wait.

Freddie, Tweak & I have a flyball tournament in a couple of weeks in Manchester. As much as I can't stand the disorganization of their tourneys, it is quite convenient being only 25 minutes away.

It's time for me to head off to work!

D

Crazy shit man...

So I moved my blog to my server because I wasn't able to use the Blogger tool to post to my server once they moved my site to a new box. That was back in July.

Since then, I've had nothing but a hassle.

It wasn't the blogging software I switched to, just like it wasn't Blogger the first time I moved. It's my hosting company. It was both times. But since I don't pay for my domain, I guess I really can't bitch. I will, I just recognize that I don't have the right.

I stopped writing because I got aggravated every time I logged in and something was wrong.

I've missed writing - I enjoy putting my thoughts to "paper" so to speak.

D

Freddie's # 5!

Woohoo!!!!

It's official! Freddie is the fifth Min Pin in the sport of Flyball! Boy does that feel good!

Our hold on the spot is tenuous but we're going to a tourney in 2 weeks that will hopefully help cement our position.

Look out number four 'cuz here we come!!!

A very proud and almost teary,
D