We're winning!

I say "We" like I have anything to do with it. I don't have anything to do with it, nor am I gay, but I have gay friends and I think people should be treated like people. That's where "We" comes in.

Gay rights advocates score wins in NY, Calif.

Denying any group of people anything based on their sex, race, religion or sexual preferences is just plain wrong. Yet some people seem to think it's their inalienable right to do just that. Yeah, I don't get it either.

Today it is gay marriage, what will it be tomorrow? Free speech? People are quick to ban and forbid anything opposite their viewpoints, without realizing that they open the door for someone to swoop in and do the same to them. I wish everyone would watch movies like V for Vendetta and Equilibrium, to name a few, to see just where we will end up someday if we don't start saying No.

I know, off the soap box.

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I had planned on writing about why I blog today but I have limited time so I'm not going to. Instead, I'm going to post a few pics. I realized today I haven't posted a picture of the tattoo in a while. I've only had one session of color - I have to get with Ken for more but time has been limited.


I had to put this up here because it's hilarious - Freddie and I in the lanes at the Buffalo Wings flyball tournament in Batavia, NY this past April. I was saying "Ready, Set, Go!" and had just released him to run down the lane. Too funny.


And finally, a wonderful shot of my posterior from Camp Barking Hills this year. In my tricks class, I did demos for the disc tricks the campers could choose from. This was one of them.



So really today has turned into let's-make-fun-of-Dawn-day! Clearly, I started it so feel free to jump in!

D

Better today...

And I knew I would be, it just takes a little time. I'm sure I'll have other bad days about it but right now I'm ok.

LKH came out with not one but TWO new books today. I'm heading to the book store right after this post. I'm in the middle of JR Wards books but I'll wait to read the rest of them until after I read the latest in the Anita Blake series.

I *really* have to unload my car today. No more fooling around on that one with the price of gas! Plus I need to get back to training Tweak for flyball in the yard.

But first I have to find the yard. I went away for 5 short days and when I got back my house was surrounded by this really tall field of green. I have to try and cut it today or tomorrow after work. I'm seriously in awe of how quickly grass grows.... I wish my hair grew that quickly.

Speaking of which, I made an appointment to get it colored and cut next week. The day before heading off to Caledonia so I'll be nice and fluorescent. I'm trying to decide what funky thing to do to it next and I'm coming up blank. I haven't done the thick stripes in a while, maybe I'll do that.

Any suggestions?

D

I am strong...

...but there are certainly times when it is near impossible for me to continue being strong.

There are times when I just want to throw in the towel. When I want to stay in bed watching every sad movie I own, crying the day away.

It is absolutely amazing to me that my feelings can change so drastically in such a short period of time. From the happiness and huge sense of fulfillment from being at camp all weekend to utter despair because of a family thing.

I'm always the strong one - always have been and always will be. In times of crisis I can shoulder my load and then some. Maybe that's why Jo has a hard time reading me - something to ponder another day.

There are times though when I don't want to be strong. When I don't want to take on the world and prove everybody wrong. There are times when I need to cry myself to sleep just like everybody else at some point in their life.

This is one of those times.

I can't go into details yet, but I will soon enough. Suffice it to say I am absolutely miserable and tonight I will cry myself to sleep without watching a sad movie.

I don't want to be strong right now. I just want to cry. I want to be held and comforted. I want to hide. I am strong, but I don't want to be right now. I'm throwing in the towel, hoisting the white flag, surrendering to my feelings.

Tomorrow, I will be strong. Tonight, I will cry.

D

Recovering

What a fan-freakin'-tabulous weekend! I *love* camp! Everyone I know should go to camp just because there is so much to do, the people rock, and it's all about dogs - having fun with them, learning about them, learning the how's and why's re: their behavior, having more fun with them, playing games with them, and learning how to take care of them. Camp Barking Hills rocks!

There was a couple from MA and a couple from VT there this year, which was great! It's good to have familiar accents mingled in with the NJ/NY accents.

I thought all of my classes went really, really well. Everyone seemed to enjoy what we did and learned a bunch. The absolute best kicker was hearing how one of the campers used techniques learned in my Building Drive class in one of Susan's classes. It's awesome that the camper proved the information was valuable, it was incredible that she was able to apply it during the weekend, but it was especially cool that it happened in front of the owner of the camp. If there was any doubt on the value of dog camp, that pretty much pulverized it right there.

The kids did really well too. Freddie was able to come out for flyball stuff. Tweak for drive and disc stuff, Millie for grooming and general hanging around and Pacie for pictures with Freddie. Jeannie from Close Encounters of the Furry Kind was there this year and we did some action shots of Tweak with the disc and some "pretty" pictures of the boys on a bench and in front of a bush. Pacie took off during one shoot and headed up to the patio area at full throttle. You'd think I starve the dog with how food motivated he is... he just doesn't like to earn it. :p

I wanted to get Tweak on the Lure course but alas my schedule never allowed me the time. I guess it's not such a bad thing since it's not like she needs an increase in drive in chasing anything but me. :p

I traded Wendi the chef my Dunkin Donuts koozy for the rest of the pork roll. You can't get it up here and I like it. :)

I still have to unpack the car, which might take several days as I have no motivation to do it today either. :p

The tugs and discs were a pretty good hit at camp! I was very pleasantly surprised with how many were sold.

I heard back from the insurance company. It looks like it is affordable and we can go ahead with starting the business the way I'd like to. I'll call the lawyer tomorrow and see what I need to do to get that ball rolling.

I have a ton of homework to do and I really need to do nothing else this week but catch up on it. Traveling while in school is just ridiculous. And I still have another trip planned...sigh.

I was supposed to make plans with Ken today to get more work done on the tattoo but it's not going to happen. I have to take my aunt somewhere today, bathe the dogs because they rolled in something wicked dead and stinky, shower myself, try to clean off the kitchen table enough so I can actually tell it's a table, then meet George for dinner later.

I'm not sure where my head is with the George thing. Frankly I'm so confused and unhappy about it all that I really just want to step away and call it a day. I've had a break from him while he was on travel and I was at camp and it's helped put things into perspective. Now I just need to get rid of my feelings, which is always the hardest thing to do. I wish there was a bridge between what I know will eventually happen and what's happening now. That would help the internal "Shazam! You're stupid!" comments from appearing whenever I think about it.

As great as camp was, Susan, Donna & I still feel like we got gypped. We never really got a chance to sit down and hang out at all. I just spent the last 5 days with them and I think I blogged more than I spoke to them. Clearly that's saying something! I'll just have to plan a long weekend down there after the insane summer is over.

I have to wash the pups now. I swear I would stay drier if I just got in the tub with them.

D

Day one

Last night was class sign up which went well.

Today is the first day of classes. Millie decided she didnt feel like playing so our clicker demo tanked. Dogs have such a way of humbling us humans.

Or maybe itls just my dogs...

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Sent from my Verizon Wireless LGVX9900 device.

pooped...

Got here without issue, the ride isn't bad at all, only 4 1/2 hrs.

The college has wireless!

The kids kicked ass this year as just about everything is set up already, which leaves us with more free time than expected tomorrow. Millie is still a little skunky so I'm planning on taking her to the wash-a-dog place tomorrow. She's going to have a massage with Elaine so I'd like her to be clean and non-smelly for it.

Nancy will be here around 1'ish and I'm pretty excited about that since I haven't seen her in it seems like ages!

I can barely keep my eyes open tho' so I'm off to pass out.... besides, I have this really cute Border Collie next to me and she's just begging to be cuddled!

D

Trucks

Are 18 wheelers required to stop at a weigh station if it's open? Why does anyone need to know how much they weigh? I have some guesses but if you know feel free to educate me.

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Sent from my Verizon Wireless LGVX9900 device.

Wow.

I am a minivan packing goddess. There can be no disputing this claim since I am on the road with everything I need.

Just sayin'...

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Sent from my Verizon Wireless LGVX9900 device.

Off to Camp!

All of the piles of stuff I must bring are piled. Now I just have to figure out how I'm going to fit all of it in the car.

I have a minivan just for this reason. So I can take 4 dogs and 300 pounds of crap with me when I go places. Everyone knows girls need 300 pounds of crap for no reason!

But I'm seriously wondering how I'm going to fit it all. I need to be pack-master supreme today and if I pull it off, I'll be just a little bit impressed with myself.

I'll send updates from my phone. Have a great holiday weekend!

And don't forget what this holiday weekend is for. Without those men and women, we wouldn't be here today.

D

Camp Schedule

See all the things you'll miss this weekend? Don't hate me 'cuz you're jealous and didn't sign up for Camp in time.

Maybe you'll remember next year...

Anyway, I'm beyond stoked and can't wait to get on the road. I'd leave tonight if I could but the kids and I would have to sleep in the car and I'm pretty sure people frown upon that.

I have a list of things I need to remember to bring with me - fans, linens, towels (which I always bring when I travel with the dogs), tugs & discs, dog vaccinations, disc handouts, bubble making machines, batteries for said machines, clothing, camp shirts, blah, blah, blah.

I have 450 things to do between now and when I leave tomorrow and I honestly don't know how I'll accomplish it but I'm in too good a mood to bitch about it!

I'll probably be up very late tonight finishing up a few work things and homework. Thankfully it doesn't matter what time I leave tomorrow.

John, my graphic designer, came up with a few things for the company logo which are pretty cool. Dad & I are going through our options and will hopefully make a decision in the next couple of weeks.

As much as I'd like to keep writing as I have more to say, I have to jet before I start pulling my hair out!

D

a weird favorite...

Everyone has favorite things - items, situations, actions, whatever. Some of them are pretty normal, almost typical even (think "seeing my child smile" or something.)

I think I have some pretty normal ones for the most part. My absolute favorite thing in the whole world is good friends/family, good beer, good food and good conversation at the same time. Throw in my dogs after a day of dog sports and a fire of some sort and I could seriously die a deliriously happy woman. No amount of money can make that happen although I will admit that money would help with the beer, food & dog sports. :p

Anyway, one of my favorites (that probably isn't as common) happens every day when I get out of the shower. I absolutely *love* drying my face with a really good quality towel that hasn't been washed with fabric softener so it's a little scratchy. It's one of the best feelings in the world for me. I don't know why, it just does it for me. I'm awake and I feel refreshed & comforted. It kind of makes me feel the same as when you get in a really, really good stretch - it's invigorating almost.

Hey, I never said I wasn't a few lights short of a christmas tree. Seriously. Did you forget which blog you were reading? Heh.

I will say that my whole little towel thing didn't feel *as* good this morning due to the ridiculous sunburn I got yesterday. That's what made me think of it - hissing while drying my face this morning. I'll tan soon enough but today I'm still pretty pink....and sore.

Has anyone thought about that personal assistant spot? I could really, really use one right about now!

D

We love frisbee...

My car prevented me from going to the flyball demo on Saturday - they replaced some sensor in/near the engine to see if that would stop it from doing the weird 30mph coasting thing it occasionally does. I will admit that even though I would've loved to have hung out with everybody, I didn't miss the 4 hour drive there and back for a 1/2 hour demo. Just sayin'...

Tweak & I love frisbee. A lot. We get to hang out with flyball people that we know, we get to go out and throw the frisbee, we get to take home some sort of plaque, and we get excellent advice at the end of the day (Thanks Sarah!)

So we took 1st place in Novice again. Looks like we're moving on to Intermediate now. Apparently they've been really nice to me since they booted other people out of novice the first time they won. Now they just have to have intermediate all the time! Or they can have Pro be the intermediate level and then just have Super Pro for Dan, Corinne, Mike & Barry.

For the first time ever, I saw deer on the way home today. George always looks for, and sees, deer in the trees along the highway. Of course the one time I can't tell him about it, I see not one, but two does. What are the chances? Damn it.

I'm getting totally psyched for camp I can barely stand to be with myself right now. I have more tugs to make but I did start packing up my containers with everything I need to bring. I'm using Millie as the demo dog for the how-to-dremel-your-dogs-nails class, which means I can't actually trim her nails right now. She's clicking louder than the keyboard keys and its driving me up the wall. Only 4 more days.....

I have homework to do, tugs to make and laundry to do so I'm outta here.

D

weekend plans

I thought I had the weekend off with the sole exception of the frisbee thing in RI on Sunday but that's not the case. I forgot I said I'd do the 4H demo in Mashpee on Saturday. Hopefully the weather will cooperate because right now it's supposed to rain in the morning. Or, maybe it'll rain all day and I'll be able to save the 2 hour trip in gas and use it on Sunday instead. I like that idea better.

I figured out I'd need to sleep for 3 hours a night in order to get everything done that I need to before I head to camp next Thursday. If you know me at all you know I love my sleep and I can't function on less than 7-8 hours so that just ain't happening. What to give up... school? Can't. Dogs? Can't. Camp? Nope. Family? Uh uh.

Susan and I decided I need a Donatella. Someone to keep my day/life in line, drive me where I need to go (I could accomplish more if I could use commuting time as work time), and throw sarcastically witty zings at me when needed. Anyone want the job?

My allergies have been really bad lately and it's driving me crazy.

I taught Tweak to do a box turn off of my body and I have the bruises to prove it. Maybe someday they'll be in a place that I can show you. My bruises have bruises I'm so bruised.

Time for the gym.

D

Don't break the height dog...

I won a Mother of the Year award this weekend when I tossed my dog down the lane and then kicked him. The saying for the weekend after that was "Don't break the height dog" courtesy of our friends in Revolution Flyball.

Freddie was having major issues this weekend and I'm not really sure why. Typically when he goes around a jump or spits a ball it's because he has to poop. Gross, but true nonetheless. When he kept screwing up in the lanes but still kept pooping, I had no idea what to think. He doesn't get that much food! He poops once, maybe twice during a tournament and then he's done. He pooped 5 times yesterday. Five. No animal weighing in at 11 lbs. should poop five times, it's just absurd.

I found out later what might have been the cause of such pooping but since we're home, it doesn't really matter. I'll just have to keep a better eye on the crating area next time.

Anyway, Freddie spit out the ball before crossing the line. I scooped him up and started running towards the start line so he could re-run cleanly. Apparently he wasn't quite ready for that because when I tossed him for a running start, he flopped over mid-air, landed on his back and rolled over 3 times. He scraped his face on the mat, bit his tongue and was quite shaken up when I picked him up to check on him. With reason as I am the biggest heel on the planet.

The best part about dogs? Besides the fact that they can occasionally bounce, is that the first thing he did when I picked him up is give me a couple of kisses. As I said, he seemed shaken up a bit but was otherwise fine. I put him down so we could set up for the next heat and I kicked him. Totally accidental, clearly. I was moving over to our set up point and he was right where I was stepping. I couldn't see him because my hair was in my face, which is no excuse. I'm such a loser.

After checking on him yet again, we set up for the next heat, which was thankfully our last.

So, I suck and you should never break your height dog.

I have to order frisbees for camp, figure out what the hell I'm going to say for each class, catch up on homework and get as much of that done as possible before going to camp in 2 weeks. I can't even *believe* it's only 2 weeks away. Seriously.

I have to borrow a box to bring with me too. And make a bunch of tugs to sell at the camp store. I should really write a to do list since it's getting to be more than I can remember.

I tried talking Mag (my Australian friend) into coming to the states and helping me settle my life out for a month or so but she can't. Her husband has some travel coming up and she needs to stick around for her dog, which I totally get. I wish I had a personal assistant. When they weren't organizing my life they could clean my house. I'd like that a lot. :)

Oh, Tweak did pretty good in her warm ups this weekend. I fried her brain once when I tried to send her over all 4 jumps for the ball with another dog in the lane next to us. I didn't think she was ready for that and she wasn't. Both nights before she was able to, she just wasn't ready for the distraction of a strange dog running next to her. We did recalls after that and she was great. She earned a warm up spot in Caledonia, which is really cool. And I have homework for her to do, which I'll start tonight now that I have a box and jumps again. I really need to order a box but I just don't have 1k hanging around doing nothing right now.
D

Coming or going...

I'm always coming or going. Apparently I don't sit still for very long but you wouldn't know it when I get in to West Wing marathon mode.

Speaking of West Wing, I'm still disgusted about the end of Season three and have not yet moved on to Season four. They shouldn't have killed Simon Donovan. They should've given CJ a break and let her have a love interest. It doesn't matter to me that it's off the air or Season three happened like 8 years ago or whatever - it is still wrong and I'm not quite over it yet.

The kids and I are heading to Greenfield this weekend for a flyball tourney. We're camping with Jo and family and should have a lot of fun when not running around like a chicken with my head cut off.

I have a bunch of shit to do before heading out, packing up me, the dogs and the car, making sure I have my homework with me (damn there's a lot of it too), bringing supplies to make stuff in my down time (ha). I'll stop on the way and get food, beer, etc.

Next week I'll be in the office the whole week! That hasn't happened in a couple of weeks and will be a nice little treat before heading to Camp at the end of the month. I love Camp. I love going to Camp, I love teaching Camp, I love having my dogs with me at Camp, I love everything about Camp! I'm excited for Camp!

D

Nevermind...

I can't fight the whole system. I've caved under the assault of people in cranky moods and am now in a cranky ass mood myself. Sheesh.

Had a meeting with a potential supplier today. It went well, we'll see what happens.

Lawyer tomorrow morning and small business meeting after that.

Maybe I'll even get to do some work.

Meh.

D

Seriously...

What is up with people today? It's a gorgeous day out - mid 70's and sunny - and everyone I see or talk to is in a piss poor mood.

Stay away if you're going to be a cranky-ass bitch and rain on my parade because I'm in a good mood and want to keep it that way.

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another reality check...

Yesterday was a stupidly productive day for me - both work and personal business wise. By the end of the day I was feeling pretty good about myself and what I had accomplished. I was getting a little overwhelmed by having so many things going on, so many balls in the air, so to speak but it wasn't that, that bad.

I think I've mentioned that I'm starting a business. I won't go a lot into detail about it until it happens but needless to say there's a lot to do and only me to do it. Yesterday I made an appt. with a potential supplier for tomorrow. I have an appt. with my lawyer on Thursday and an appt. with a not-for-profit small business consulting firm after that. I put a call into my accountant and am waiting to hear back from him. I have many lists now too - lists of products, materials, suppliers, appointments, questions, and last but not least, a To Do list. I've hired a graphic designer to come up with a logo and branding. I've narrowed down the list of web options. Displays and shipping options are coming along. Lots of things going on and lots more to do but at least it's a start.

While thinking about all the things left to do and tooling around the web checking mail while talking to Susan, I got yet another reality check. Another "Hey look, there's a really big picture here and your piddly problems really aren't center stage in said picture."

According to CNN, the death count in Myanmar (formally known as Burma) is now at 22,000 with another estimated 41,000 people missing due to Cyclone Nargis. How can your heart not go out to this country?

While still talking to Susan, I mentioned that I felt really bad and that I wished I could go help them rebuild or something (regardless of the fact that I don't actually have rebuilding skills.) She mentioned that I would not come back the same person since devastation on that level severely impacts people's psyche. She then mentioned that it might be detrimental to me because I'm a balanced person - that it might toss me over the edge I think.

My response was that it was absolutely disgusting that I'm selfish enough to not go help just so I don't change that dramatically. It's disgusting. It was disgusting when I had the same thoughts about Louisiana and it's still just as disgusting now. I'm actually a little ashamed of myself for even thinking it.

That said, I do understand that I can't fix everything. I do understand that I really don't have many skills that would be beneficial to Myanmar short of picking stuff up and moving it. I logically know that I can't drop my life here and go halfway across the world to remove debris from streets. I know all that. I do understand that I need to worry about myself, my life, before I can worry about another countries.

It doesn't make it any less sobering or less surreal. It also doesn't negate my selfishness, which is really what it's called when you boil it down. You may disagree and that's ok but that's still what it is - selfish.

Instead of worrying about all the things I have left to do for the business, I'm going to focus on work. Toss myself into something that I can do, while thinking about the people of Myanmar, hoping they accept our aid, and being pissed off at the First Lady for even *thinking* of laying blame at a time like this. What the hell was she thinking? Seriously.

Sheesh.

D

every other week

My life is about to get very interesting. Not that it isn't anyway, it'll just get a bit busier. I'll be heading out of town, starting this weekend, unexpectedly, and will continue heading out of town every other week for the rest of the summer it looks like.

I was supposed to go to a frisbee competition on Saturday and practice on Sunday. Neither are happening now.

I'd say more but I can't.

Anyway, I'll be a traveling fool for a while, which is a good thing.

The one class I need to take to graduate starts next Thursday.

I ordered a return air grille finally. It was an item that's been on the list-of-things-to-do-for-the-house since I bought it. I just didn't know what it was called and Home Depot never carried it in the size that I needed.

I also put in an order for some supplies for the business. I'm still in the developmental stages so I have to play around with stuff to get it just right.

I have an appointment with my lawyer next Thursday to go over business stuff, or more accurately, how to start a business kind of stuff.

NET's flyball tournament is next weekend. I'm staying with Jo in the camper so I can have all the kids with me.

Millie still smells like a skunk but the rest are ok for the most part. This is despite all of the home remedies and suggestions I've tried. I have two more left to try (thanks Cheryl!) and will let you know how that works out.

I'm in the middle of watching West Wing Season 3. It's darker than the first two seasons but I can understand why with everything that was going on at the time. I thought the 9/11 episode was especially well done.

I'm wicked excited about something that I can't talk about and it's driving me bananas.

Other than that... oh look, it's 1:11.

D