Saturday, April 26, 2008

soooo complicated

Most of the time life is very simple for me. There isn't a lot of drama, things pretty much happen the way I want them to, when I want them to. Not always, which is what prevents me from being a totally spoiled brat, but mostly.

The other night Dina and I went out for drinks. We had a lot of catching up to do and she needed me to help a friend of hers with a website. I know we closed the place, I know I had a *lot* to drink, and I know we played pool. I think we lost, even though I actually did well and had a couple of runs of 3 and 4 balls at a time.

The complications started when George started texting me and Dina took my phone. Needless to say, 1/2 hour later we were at Billy's house having yet more beer with George & friends. In the land of shoulda, woulda, coulda, I shoulda stayed home. I woulda saved myself all sorts of hassle, and I coulda been much happier. Clearly, that didn't happen.

So we were hanging out, a lot of which I don't remember, btw. After some time, I remember being in a bedroom with Billy who was trying to kiss me. I remember him saying George said it was ok. I remember getting really, really pissed off at that and leaving the house. I remember starting to walk home. I remember George catching up to me and I remember saying I wasn't his to share out through a voice stressed with tears.

I remember crying. I remember going back to the house and getting Dina. I remember talking to George again but I don't remember what was said. I remember going home. I remember talking to George on the phone, then I passed out.

That's about enough drama to last me the next 5 years of my life. Seriously. That sucked big time.

George came over last night and we talked some more, kinda came to an understanding on our feelings about it, and went out to dinner. Things are a little different between us now, which might be a good thing. I think I need to take a step back and reflect a bit. I think things are so jumbled and twisted that they're on their way to being completely unrecognizable. I don't like that in the least bit so it's time for me to remove myself from the situation and get it all straight in my head.

Today I'm heading back to basics. I have no plans and it's going to stay that way. I'm going to do some yard work, throw the frisbee for the puppy and do some cleaning. I have some research to do online for the business. I want to play with the shrink tubing since George let me borrow his heat gun. I have to find my debit card, which I think is in a pocket somewhere. I need to hook up with my sister and chat with her. Very simple, not complicated in the least bit, kind of stuff. And no George.


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