Friday, April 28, 2006

just shoot me...

...actually, don't shoot me know, I wish it had happened 3 hours ago.

I don't normally go into as much detail as I'm about to after a date. But this was just....well...bad. It started out ok, he gave me flowers when he came to pick me up. That was a really nice thought and it was much appreciated. What girl doesn't like to receive flowers?

Anyway, I'm not even sure how to continue without sounding like a complete jerk. So I'm just going to lay it all out there and pray that he never finds my blog. First off, he lied. He's not heavyset. No man that has a stomach that big is heavyset. When the seat is as far back as it can go and your stomach is rubbing against the steering wheel, you're not heavyset. I can deal with a few extra pounds. I have a few extra pounds. Stomach stapling is not necessary for a few extra pounds or a heavyset frame. (No offense to anyone that needs to have their stomach stapled or has a heavyset frame.)

Moving forward 10 minutes - I hate the way he drives. *Hate* it. Erratic. Dangerous. Unsafe. *Hate* it. He's the type of person that sees a car with their signal on, and speeds up just so they can't pass. Not liking the driving. At all. Nope. One of those rides where you keep checking the seatbelt to make sure it's fastened.

Another 10 minutes - this is the longest trip to Waltham I've ever taken in my life.

In Waltham, we can't find a parking space. I'm thinking, "Oh good! We can turn around and go home!" No. We circle around a few times and find one. "Damn!"

Once we're in the restaurant, I catch him looking at me - *all* the time. What I (and every other normal American) would consider staring. Great. "Can I have another beer?" "Please???" "And please hurry. :)"

Over dinner, he's too busy eating - literally - everything on his plate to look at me, which I wasn't upset about. A few idle questions here and there, nothing big.

Y'know how in some TV shows they show the scene of what's happening but then overlay what the person's thoughts are over the scene? That was me. The whole time. No kidding.

We get the check. He figures out the tip. He tells me that learning Calculus has ruined him for simple math. "Sigh..." I look at the slip, which is just out there on the table and figure out what the tip *should* be. It's not her fault Calculus has ruined his math skills, she was on top of everything! When we leave, I tell him to go ahead, signal her over and pass over some cash to make up for what was left on the slip. "20%. How hard is it to figure out 20%?"

There's an ice cream shop up the street, we stop in there. I have more than half of my meal in a doggie bag and am full so no ice cream for me. He gets a small whatever and we walk back to the car. We sit inside the car while he eats his ice cream. Silently, because he's eating. "He'll be done soon. I'll be home soon."

Driving (if you call it that) back, I see signs for 93 "Almost there - only 15 mins from here!" Someone tries to get on the highway, he speeds up. "Great. I always wanted to be road pizza..."

I see the sign for Methuen - 5 miles ahead. "HALLELUJAH!" (Complete with angelic sopranos and everything - similar to what you hear in movies.)

We take the exit off of the highway. "I guess Stop doesn't mean 'Stop' for him." (Anxiously looking around to make sure I'm not going to become road pizza.....again. Seatbelt? Check!)

At the set of lights. "I can walk home, no problem."

Turning on my street. "Yay! I've never been so happy to be home!!!"

In my driveway. Saying: 'Thank you, I had a good time.'

(Thinking: "Please don't lean over. Please don't lean over. Please don't lean over. Oh wait. He can't."

'Yup. Talk soon. Bye.'

I can't even begin to describe how many other thoughts I had in that short 3 hours that felt like 15. And everyone that I'd like to vent to is A) out, B) sleeping, or C) Unavailable.

Oh, and did I mention that our personalities were a little clashy? "The sky's blue." "No it's not, it's Cerulean." "Sigh....(is it worth the argument? No.) Ok.....sigh"

I'm going to bed to lose myself in a book. :)


No comments: