Thursday, January 18, 2007

I cried tonight

Yup. I cried tonight.

I was watching CSI Miami, the one where Speed dies, and I cried. I've seen it before. It wasn't the episode that made me cry though. Ok, a little bit, but not really. I mean, it's sad and all - Speed was a great character and not bad on the eyes. :) But that's not really what made me cry.

I've had some stuff going on and it just came to a head tonight. I can't say what or why or give details although I wish I could. If I could shut my brain off, I wouldn't be so bad. But I can over-think a situation well past the time it should be dead and buried. A known downfall of dear old me. :)


What do you do when you want something you can't have?

Nothing. Not one damn thing.

I'm sure everyone goes through something like this at least once in their life. It's normal. I know it. But boy does it *suck* when it happens to you. Sucks hard core.

Everyone wants to be wanted - to be a part of something. Accepted and loved for who they are, without condition. To feel like they're a part of something greater, preferably something good, but that depends on the person. :)

And when you can't get what you want?

I don't know. I'm trying to figure that out now. It'll be interesting, that's for damn sure.

I'm sure I'll get over it. I'm resilient. Adaptable. I've been through far worse in my life and will probably need to deal with far worse in the future.

When all is said and done, Ill be fine. Like always.

But boy does it soooo suck to want what you can't have.

Ok, I'll put on my big girl panties and get over it.

It just might not happen tonight. I haven't had a good pity party in a while - not since the flood.

I'll just cry it all out tonight.


No comments: