Wednesday, March 5, 2008

because I can...

This started out as a reflection of my feelings but morphed into something totally different.

The Diner

Sarah looked down at her hands and simply stared. Her thoughts jumbled over each other as she tried to grasp what just happened. Her eyes welled with tears until she could no longer see her hands. “How could this happen to me. How could this happen to me, again,” she thought as her shoulders softly betrayed her falling tears. She bonelessly dropped her head into her hands and cried, oblivious to the few customers left in the diner.

Kevin walked past the diner, his mind unable to focus on where he was headed. Grief tore through him like a hurricane in a corn field. “How could this happen. How could this happen again,” he thought as he walked into the street sign listing the diner’s specials. “I’ll get some coffee,” he thought as he stared down at the sign.

Sarah couldn’t stop the tears that ran down her face in rivulets; she didn’t want to. She thought maybe, just maybe, this set of tears would make her learn that love was not for her; to hide her heart so it couldn’t be touched. “When am I going to learn,” she asked herself as she grabbed a napkin out of the old metal holder. She was done crying for now but she knew there were plenty more tears where those came from. Sarah held her breath as she heard someone sit down in the booth next to her.

Kevin sat and stared at the wall, totally unaware of anything and anyone around him. When the waitress came for his order, he politely ordered coffee without a glance her way. “I can’t believe this happened again,” he thought before rubbing his tired eyes with his hand. “What are the chances,” he said aloud, not meaning to. He looked around and saw a brown haired girl wiping at her eyes at the table next to him. He wondered if that was how he looked since she looked how he felt.

Sarah glanced over to the brown haired man that sat down next to her. She barely noticed his catatonic state before she started counting the red and white patterns of the checkered tablecloth. Her hands held up her head, elbows on the table. It was a good thing she couldn’t hold down any food and hence wouldn’t be eating since her table manners were atrocious. Tears threatened to fall once again.

Kevin thanked the waitress for his coffee and took a sip, not really tasting anything. He sighed as he thought about the last 3 weeks and how hard life was going to be because of them. He decided it was time to give up; he had had enough of disappointment, tragedy, and heart ache. He wasn’t that strong anymore, although he wanted to be, and everything was still too new, too fresh for him to have any other thoughts. He couldn’t believe he had lost another wife.

Sarah sighed, wishing she had some semblance of control over herself. She broke down at the hospital, falling to her knees when they told her the news. She would never love again, she vowed right then and there. To bury another husband was too much for her; it was too hard. She couldn’t handle losing someone else. “I’m cursed,” she thought to herself.

Kevin shook his head as he thought about his beloved Tina. He wanted to take away all of her pain, switch places with her so he was the one with all the tubes and needles in him. Spare her from it all; take it upon him so the outcome was different. Tina would be alive, lighting up the world with her infectious smile and laughter. He didn’t understand why she was gone.

Sarah didn’t understand why he was gone. She had already been through this once before. Why couldn’t it have been her this time? She would’ve traded places with him in a heartbeat to spare him from that much pain.

Micah and Hillary stood behind the heart broken humans, watching them with sadness in their eyes. Micah reached out and gently stroked Sarah’s hair. Hillary went and stood next to Kevin, her hand resting lightly on his shoulder. She looked at Micah, concern written on her face, “It’s difficult to have repeats Micah,” she said, looking at Kevin.

“I know, Hillary,” Micah said. “This assignment seems harsh but I promise that it’s necessary.”

“Why, Micah” she asked, “Why these two, again?”

“You know why, Hillary,” he said while putting his arm around Sarah, who lowered her head onto the table, succumbing to the weight of her emotions. “To truly appreciate each other and the love only these two people could have for each other, they both needed to experience loss that is rarely seen.”

“The pain and despair coming off of them is suffocating, Michah.”

“I know, Hillary. It won’t be long for us, not as long as the first time they went through it anyway.”

“I guess it’s time to get started then,” she said.

“Don’t worry Hillary, everything will work out. You, being the Fate of Love, should know that,” Micah said, smiling at his beloved. “Love is everything and they will know that soon enough.”

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